For the last 4 months i have not been working. I had quit my job on a whimp and chose to stay at home. Trying to figure out what i want and how i want it. I was unsure of how to take my life forward and in which direction.

I did not do all the things like travel, join a hobby class, learn pottery or learn a language. Instead what i did was sit at home, flip channels, cook once in a while, bake cakes and cookies, write on wordpress, go jogging, meet friends over lunch/ dinner, travel (not extensively though) and think. Think a lot and THE most important one - just be.

The first month after my job quit was spent meeting, going out etc etc and i was for some reason restless, nothing was making me happy and i was at my sarci best!
i felt that there was not a substantial reason for me to do anything, yes my worth as a person was in the pits!
The world was a dark dark place… it was unhappy and it was empty also the best time for my writing.
I started my volunteering job again and taught … the thing that did get me out of the rut was internalising all the blame that i was putting on everyone else. The unhappiness and depression that i was going through seemed so BIG!
Over time and with a ton of introspection, everything seemed trivial

I thought over all the things that were staring at my face and the ones that i was refusing to acknowledge as my faults. Once i accepted them as my own faults and short comings, they were out of my system and not my worry anymore. Yes i was the incompetent nincompoop and i was trying to deal with it. I didnt have to shoulder anything. Damn it ! i am too young!!

And as my god works in magical ways, things started looking up!!! ya ya now it all sounds easy … but it was hell trust me !
And surprise surprise … i got a call two days back and i have THE job, that i wanted, the one that i was lusting after for a while !!

All i can do right now is thank the one above (God and the CEO of the company) and try to do my best the second time around.
And hopefully do this job without groaning about the work or falling hopelessly for some guy ( ya that happened the last time i started working)
So a newer improved version of me goes out in the corporate world once again, to take few punches and a lot more bouquets!
yeyy!!
yeyy!!

 “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 

And thus spoke the great Mark Twain. I had read this quote a few years back in the prospectus of the Indian School of Business (ISB). It was inspiring and a tad bit depressing at the same time. Depressing? Yes! Cause if i look back, i see all the risks that i did not take and they come glaring back at me.

The ones when i did not let go, just to be on the safer side and did not throw away my bowlines

But then i say to myself … oh come on that was in the past … now will be different and i shall take all those risks that come looking me up. This lasts for about 2-3 days MAXIMUM ! and well then hum-drum takes over

Isn’t there an ever inspiring stimulus which just keeps inspiring day in and day out? Like a cup of coffee (a cup of chai in my case) in the morning, the one that gives you a kick and jolts you out of your humdi-dumdi existence.

What is it that gets these “great” people going? Take Azim Premji for instance, the Wipro guy. He took over leadership of Wipro at 21 and transformed a USD 2 million company from a hydrogenated cooking fat company to a USD 1.76 billion IT services organisation serving customers across the globe.

What about Bill Gates? Steve Jobs? Were they born with it? Or was it their surroundings, that somehow moulded them into who they are now.

So with that logic now that i am already moulded into a slob queen, who lives for chocolates and occasionally watches TV, the other time she reads and fritters away time with her family/ friends and other random people, is extremely moody and commitment phobic, an occasional liar and a huge foodie.

So am i doomed for mediocrity? Or do i have to learn to look at the brighter side?

Or hell do i just have to get off my lazy ass and start doing something about this pathetic state of existence??!!!

Hmmmm well … where is that damn remote and my box of chocolate!!!! I need it ASAP!

My sweet country as always doesn’t fail to baffle and amuse me. This time around also as i had earlier (in my “Two men on a scooter and a TV” post), i salute the enterprising spirit of the Indian people. Three cheers for the Indian people ! hip hip Jai Ganesh (3) ! wah kya bat hai !

So like the unsuspecting soul that i am, i was sitting in front of the TV and nonchalantly flipping channels by the second. Disgusted by the sheer waste of useless options available on TV. I mean there was absolutely nothing to watch. Zilch ! Nada … all crap !

So i come across this channel called India TV (should we take names ?? ) and they have this breaking news ! and its huge ! Oh my god !! the TV reporter is gushing about how this is the news of the moment and how its unbelievable ! This astounding discovery and blah blah blah

The great breaking news is that Ganesh ji the great Indian God (no offence intended to anyone here) is taking calls now. All you need to do is call up the almighty Lord Ganesha, obviously (!!) on his mobile phone and talk your prayers away.

Now you must be saying Oh come on !! that can’t be ! And questions like so i now need not really take a bath before visiting a temple cause i can be in bed and all i need to do is just call up Lord Ganeshji and say my prayers and be off to another snooze… would be racing through your minds

Also all the incompetent nincompoops, who were earlier dragged to the temple to say their prayers can now just call up and get the task done and over with. And ofcourse more …

So how does this absolutely revolutionary concept work?

The temple, that boasts of this cutting edge idea is in Indore (Madhya Pradesh, India) where you can avail of this prayer-call-in service where you can just call Lord Ganeshji and get talking ! The the pundit of the temple has about 5-6 mobile phones, that were ringing away constantly. As the devotees call, punditji takes the call and dutifully puts it on the ear of the idol of our almighty Lord Ganesha.

People then rattle off their prayers while our lord almighty listens and listens with that sombre expression that he is famous for. One lady called up and rattled away how her husband is having an affair and blah blah and Lord almighty should do something about it. Another one wanted a better job.

That is exactly when i switched off the TV and went back to my snoozing.

But i did take some pictures as proof !! hehahaha ha

Mind-boggling?

Its India babeyh!!!

I salute you oh great country !!!

October has started. There is a slight chill in the air. Evenings have become shorter and it gets pitch dark around 7 – 7:30. Nights are longer and cooler, with fans switched to 1/ 2 and people sleeping equipped with a light blanket. Mornings too start late and the temperature drops in the early morn with sunshine around 5:40ish.

I simply love Delhi in early October. I feel it’s the time when Delhi is romancing winter, it’s flirty and very naughty. It slightly ups the chill content and dims the sunlight a bit. An ideal state of affairs for lovers.

It plays around with the breeze and fills everyone with a slight reminiscing about their loved ones. Flirty flirty Delhi!

The rains have made sure that its green all around, freckled with an array of beautiful flowers. The roses are in full bloom and the chirpy birds can’t stop making love at my window sill.

This is the season of stolen kisses, long mushy hugs, frosted car windows and care free laughter. Of souls meeting, falling in love. It’s that time again when our spirits are up and we mingle and we laugh and rejoice.

Ahhh …  this dilli ki sardi is a killer !

                                  Sweet lovin on my window sill

Recently I have been experiencing a phenomenon that defies all other phenomenons, it’s that kind of a happening that will not only boggle you but also leave you exasperated and wondering as to - that happens? And continuously asking yourself - Is it feasible? What about long term? Are you kidding me? What (!!) Are you serious?

And various other questions … yes I am talking about “Arranged Marriages”

So here I am all of 23, an Indian girl, the very right age to be married off/ packed off to a suitable boy. This situation heightened by the fact that all around me people are getting married and about 90% of them are in my age group i.e. 20 - 25

This is obviously alarming for my very traditional parents, who follow a date line for everything and they are frantically scanning their social radar for a right match for their darling daughter

And top it all! An exasperating example is staring right at my face and also a grim prelude for what might happen if I let things be

A cousin of mine is going to be married this November; she is 24 and has met the guy about three times :O. All of three times !! and that too in the company of their respective mum and dad and I think the most that they have talked is - hi, how are you? These clothes look good on you … and exchanged some other pleasantries.

And now my cousin will marry him and live with him (the guy picked off a matrimonial site, spoken with about three times) for rest of her existence

It’s all good! I mean there is absolutely no confusion about - will we get along, are we compatible, what are your likes and dislikes, will the parents agree to the match and are we attracted physically? Etc etc

You are not given an option that this might work or not! It just has to work, you have to make it work, you like it or not, you have to live with it, whatever the case is.

And I think it kind off suits our Indian mentality, to take solace in our mummy’s pallu (or in her arms) or our dad’s all imposing, all knowing figure

We are taking the safe route out, banishing all possibilities of trodding the untrodden path and accepting whatever is thrown our way.

In a way I feel we accept defeat, cause we are too weak to take a stand, to fight our parents, to open our selves to faults, to take a step which might lead to a bit of a failure and to make our own decisions.

We want it all safe. We want the whole package and we want it with approval. We are lazy and absolutely big hypocrites. And we can’t make up our pathetic minds. And we are shit scared to ruffle a few feathers.

It enrages me, cause I know nobody will make me marry anyone and when my time comes, I will make sure I marry the guy I love not marry and then fall in love.

And what is that - marry and fall in love??!! Like hello (!!) it won’t be love you smart asses it will be - getting used to a person … and how pathetic is that!!

Well congratulations dear cousin you have just accepted defeat and all you can do from now is compromise and then compromise a bit more. God bless you and your hubby to be.

Am i again loosing focus? … yes i am .

When i am around you i am this little girl, all happy, all joy, all life.

When you are not around i am absolutely opposite.

Erase those moments

Forget

i have been jogging for a while now (about … three times a week)

And not only do i feel like the heaviest thing on the planet but also one of those engines that have become old with age and just take ages to start and sputter and stutter endlessly

This marathon thing is really getting a bit annoying, i think it was today that i was jogging when i heard some kids, who i had just passed on my morning jog,  giggling uncontrollably behind my back.

Ya they could be giggling at anything but it could also be me!  

Not that i care, but i can totally imagine what an absolutely funny sight i am. A fat ”aunty” (anybody who is not a PYT for most delhites) in her white tee and black pants , gasping for air, sweating uncontrollably, dragging her feet,  jogging and stopping at an interval of 60 seconds ( i could have said one minute, but that just sounds pathetic), trying to catch up with the early morning joggers, does not paint a very pretty picture.

But hey ! i am not giving up that easy.

Did i mention my jogging partner? The only purpose he was supposed to serve was that of being equally slobby and lazy like me, but i guess they don’t make people like that anymore

So Mr jogging partner who is also a very sweet, green eyed, Romanian blonde, the kinds that girls usually swoon over, is also a yoga practitioner and jogs quite regularly (this i obviously got to know very recently)

So i had asked Mr Romanian here to jog along, cause i thought i would need some one to carry me after i have collapsed and he would be my partner in crime in terms of the fact that, i won’t jog and so won’t he and we will just sit there enjoying the view

But Mr Romanian blonde, turned out to be a fabulous jogger and also a very sweet and patient partner

I would say sweet for the simple reason that i seriously have these gasping for breath situations quite often and Mr Romanian does not even hint a smile or a smirk.

I really have to give it to this guy, he jogs with me patiently and takes my absolutely unhealthy existence very coolly and does not shout out - ” You are pathetic”.

Also he makes me do these stretching sessions before the jog…. sho sweet !!

Thank god i have Mr Romanian blonde, keeping me company, orelse i would have given up way earlier in this jogging war

Thank god for green eyed, Romanian joggers! God bless their sweet soul.

Picked up these absolutely adorable pens from Khan Market for just Rs. 50!

I love em !!

Adorable Mouse                        A group hug!!

Mr Oink Oink                           Zebra Man!!

Its all about loving your pens

Had a talk with my sister in the loo, we both were fighting for a dekho in the mirror. It was obviously me who was dominating the space, with me in it like 80% and the poor little sweetie was pushed in the rest of the 20% and decreasing (!). I was overtaking the whole mirror (Hehahaha hehahaha)

So anyway she starts of with accusation number 1. That I have dominated her all of our childhood!
So here I am fighting for space and total annihilation of her space, sweet victory and conquer of the mirror that is rightfully mine (everything is) and she starts of with this rambling about how I have scared her for life!

And there is more - Accusation number 2. I have always eaten her chocolates
And there were some more mumbling and whining and blah blah

So here goes my defense - my side of the story!! – I am cleaning up the closet elder sister, lets see if you can handle it –

So lets look at accusation number 2, eat all her chocolates, the Swiss ones, the Indian made, the non chocolates (goodies basically)  – chatpat, daddy chips (hell I used to love em!), maggi and few other thousands of yummy eatables.

Ya I used to eat them, dear elder sister because I truly believed, such as ….
Damn I am stalling for time here, there has to be a good enough, convincing reason.

Well if you recall we used to have these - lets divide all the chocolates and then hide them; … as really you can not trust anyone in your own household, … I mean come on you are talking about chocolates here, who can you trust but yourself with these absolutely yummy, mouth watering chocolates (obviously it was one of my masterminds) (hehahaha hehahaha) (my evil laughter resounding in the background – if you still haven’t figured it out!!)

So my strategy was, a fairly simple one – eat your own share and find the rest
So I used to eat all my chocolates, yum yum, (ya that explains the 10 extra kilos that I have grown up with) and then keep an eye on my angel of a sister, who used to very sweetly and unsuspectingly keep her share of the chocolates in the fridge (!! Where else can you keep them in the Delhi heat), and try to conceal them behind the patta gobhi and lauki and some other green veggies

And me like the complete brat that I am, I used to go and get her chocolates, keep them close to my chest, walk in to the room where she is sitting reading a book (poor unsuspecting soul), and proclaim – Jo dhondta wo leta !!! (Finder keepers) hehahahaha hehahahaha evil laughter in the background mixed with a bit of glee (hehe)

And then used to follow this insanely crazed out wrestling match that you can ever imagine, with me pulling her hair, and she pulling my chaddi, and me puling her hair and she pulling my leg, arm, tummy, etc and then me pulling her chaddi etc etc
Which used to go on for as long as possible

And of course I used to start crying and cry and cry and cry and my little angelic, naïve sister used to walk away in disgust, while I (the true evil one), used to happily munch on the war goodies.

Ya so that is my defense elder sister - the honest truth!
I fought for them chocolates, they didn’t come easy to me, they were hard earned goodies, and I told you and eat them (just about 20% of the time), but I told you anyways and hey you walked away in disgust, come on its all your fault here, you gave up.

Also in my own way I was teaching you, the lessons of life, that you have to fight for your goodies, when you grow up … okay so maybe you didn’t get to eat the chocolates, but hey you came prepared in this bad, bad, bad, cruel world (all thanks to me)

It was these important lessons of life that you learnt, like - fight till the end, never give up, deal with the evil souls in the world, who will take undue advantage of your angelic naïve existent and other more prolific lessons.

Don’t accuse me sista! Thank me!

Chocolates will do. You’re welcome. Get milky bar if you can get that.