The great Indian arranged marriage

Recently I have been experiencing a phenomenon that defies all other phenomenons, it’s that kind of a happening that will not only boggle you but also leave you exasperated and wondering as to - that happens? And continuously asking yourself - Is it feasible? What about long term? Are you kidding me? What (!!) Are you serious?

And various other questions … yes I am talking about “Arranged Marriages”

So here I am all of 23, an Indian girl, the very right age to be married off/ packed off to a suitable boy. This situation heightened by the fact that all around me people are getting married and about 90% of them are in my age group i.e. 20 - 25

This is obviously alarming for my very traditional parents, who follow a date line for everything and they are frantically scanning their social radar for a right match for their darling daughter

And top it all! An exasperating example is staring right at my face and also a grim prelude for what might happen if I let things be

A cousin of mine is going to be married this November; she is 24 and has met the guy about three times :O. All of three times !! and that too in the company of their respective mum and dad and I think the most that they have talked is - hi, how are you? These clothes look good on you … and exchanged some other pleasantries.

And now my cousin will marry him and live with him (the guy picked off a matrimonial site, spoken with about three times) for rest of her existence

It’s all good! I mean there is absolutely no confusion about - will we get along, are we compatible, what are your likes and dislikes, will the parents agree to the match and are we attracted physically? Etc etc

You are not given an option that this might work or not! It just has to work, you have to make it work, you like it or not, you have to live with it, whatever the case is.

And I think it kind off suits our Indian mentality, to take solace in our mummy’s pallu (or in her arms) or our dad’s all imposing, all knowing figure

We are taking the safe route out, banishing all possibilities of trodding the untrodden path and accepting whatever is thrown our way.

In a way I feel we accept defeat, cause we are too weak to take a stand, to fight our parents, to open our selves to faults, to take a step which might lead to a bit of a failure and to make our own decisions.

We want it all safe. We want the whole package and we want it with approval. We are lazy and absolutely big hypocrites. And we can’t make up our pathetic minds. And we are shit scared to ruffle a few feathers.

It enrages me, cause I know nobody will make me marry anyone and when my time comes, I will make sure I marry the guy I love not marry and then fall in love.

And what is that - marry and fall in love??!! Like hello (!!) it won’t be love you smart asses it will be - getting used to a person … and how pathetic is that!!

Well congratulations dear cousin you have just accepted defeat and all you can do from now is compromise and then compromise a bit more. God bless you and your hubby to be.