comfortably(?) numb

For a while i have been comfortably numb.

Taking in everything that comes my way, with a smile.

I have let the course of my life be directed by the decisions made by others and not get angry not get pissed off if things didn’t go my way and not be disappointed when I didn’t get what i want.

This is the stage when you know that you want more, but you rather not as the fine balance that has been created will break and wont get back to its initial stage.

But does it have to break? to grow? am i hindering it? Should i just let go? Should i just do what i want? or should i just be in the comfortably numb stage as long as i can? should i “break free”? But break free and then what? Do i need another option to let go of this one? 

Should i keep concentrating on the things that i feel are important and just move with the flow??

Am I waiting for Divine intervention AGAIN?!

I feel its drink time … and more than one will do.