Category Archive

I got to go golfing !!! All thanks to daddy dearest.. who gets to work his ass off 365 days a year … so that his darling daughter can have all the comforts of the world.

 

Golf being one of the elite games of the society that hardly everyone gets to enjoy. I had the good good fortune and absolutely unbelievable pleading skills that got me the opportunity to play golf this weekend.

 

I had been anticipating it for months!! The greens the holding of the club, the teeing off and of course the admiring glances of the cute hunks (Am I that predictable???!! and delusional ?? lol )

 

So well when dad finally let me come along for a golf trip … I was excited!! Exuberant!!! And totally pumped up… And ofcourse my joy knew no bounds (are we writing a school essay here?)

 

Well we went there on a nice sunday morning, the place, the prestigious Delhi Golf Club was already teeming with golfers. There were the oldies, the young kids and of course the cute ones!!! The place was quite flooded at 11:30 on a Sunday morning… And ofcourse the ladies … the moms, the girlfriends and the wives .. were looking ravishing (no surprise)

 

It was my first time at golfing and like every firsts I made an absolute complete fool of myself ….

Ofcourse I couldn’t hold the club well .. didn’t bend my leg the right way … my butt wasn’t out enough …. my swing was too swingy … my aim was too lanky …. I had no patience with the ball and my constant checking out of the cuteys was totally not acceptable ! ( ghosh!)

 

I teed about 50 odd balls in all direction and obviously none in the one intended … My shirt flew when I swung too hard and by gods grace the club didn’t slip from my sweating hand and give some one a tight wrap on the skull

 

To be completely honest if it wasn’t for the eye candies that were walking around …and my bosses obsession for the game I would probably skip it cause you not only require a lot of patience but also sweat glands that don’t sweat all that much 

 

A thought did strike me while teeing my 16 or 17 ball (about golf ofcourse! not cuteys) that this game is really like the hunting of old times … that the royals used to do. Hunting basically where the Maharajas with their plethora of soldiers and royal people used to mount on elephants and go on excursions for days together … sometimes coming back with no kill at all and at times a tiger or two.

 

Basically it used to be a thoroughly useless exercise which was done just to show off and spend resources on absolutely non productive exercise …. Golfing fits the bill to the tee … I mean there is a stick, a ball and a hole. All day you need to try and put the ball in a hole and basically walk around in the greens …. atleast of what I saw nobody cared about the game. There were people networking more than teeing off … they were busy saying HI and smiling than sweating it out …

 

And the whole concept that while a cabby trudges around carrying your load you stand there and tee off and then get zoomed off to the other location in a golf cart! Is crazy cause what do u do really? Burn probably some .000001 ounce of calorie in a year!! Ghosh the hypocrisy!! Can we run? Jog? Shout out and pump our fist in the air? Can we be a little less refined??

 

But with all my criticism  … I am all pumped up to go there again … and play it like a pro … bend my knee the right way … butt out a certain way … swing like a champ and flash that pearly white when the ball goes in an absolutely insane direction and ….. oh yeah …. Concentrate on the game a bit more than the dandy candy !

 

Tee hehe to that!

I have nothing against public transport and I have absolutely nothing against people in general. But when the two mix it’s a combination that makes me squirm. I still think 4 - 5 times before hopping into a DTC (Delhi Transport Corporation) bus or a Blue Line (the private bus operators) for that matter. If I do travel in a bus, it would probably be more of a last resort.

There are many instances that have cemented my opinion about public transport in India, but there is one that stands out. It’s a glaring example that refuses to fade away in the dust of memory. It has become an encounter that I and my friends laugh about.

It happened when, I (unsuspecting soul, as usual) was traveling in a bus on a nice sunny Saturday morning. It was around 11:30 – 12 and for some reason I was actually enjoying this particular ride. 

But as is with good moments, they last a precious few seconds. My pleasant ride also lasted about 1-2 minutes. The bus had stopped at a particularly crowded stop and people had piled in, anxious to get to their destination. They were like peas in a pod, though a tad bit haphazard. People were standing neck to neck and I thanked god at that point, that I had grabbed a seat before it was too late. 

Just as I had said my “thank you bhagu” (bhagu being short for bhawagan/ God) there came a pleasant looking lady, dressed in a saree and stood right next to me. I say pleasant because, she had a very rural look about her, all smiles, all motherly, all loving and all encompassing and straight out of some Haryanvi village.

She was a little on the hefty side and had a huge huge (!!) tummy … I was reminded of Sethanis/ Halwai’s helwain, the type of women whose lives revolve around the kitchen, their husband and what the neighbors are up to. Her saree was hardly covering her. (It happens to people, who have become really comfortable with their saree and are a bit old and really don’t care if their assets are being ogled at).

So her huge tummy which was also quite bare was at my shoulder level. (Bare for the simple reason that saree does not cover the midriff).

As the rickety bus maneuvered on busy Delhi roads, picking up passengers, the ladies tummy came closer to my shoulder.

After few stops it was comfortably resting on my shoulder. An inch or more of it had nestled there and was quite comfortable with that arrangement. It had found its comfort zone and a support system, to uplift it… as gravity was doing its job well.

So there I was stuck in a crowded bus, a tummy on my shoulder; my stop a good 30 minutes away and a lady who refused to acknowledge the fact that my shoulder space was being violated. (Hello!! It was on me!)

As the tummy stayed comfortably nestled on my shoulder I vowed never to travel in busses and not grab the aisle seat the next time. I also vowed that I will pay ten times more and take an Auto Rikshaw and I prayed (oh god I prayed!) that the bus doesn’t get more crowded lest the tummy reaches my cheek.

Ewwwwww!!! Ewwwwww!!! Ewwwwww!!! Ewwwwww!!! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

Bhagu !! Where were you when I needed you?

I am sure you were too busy chuckling away to shoulder this problem!!

I came up with this theory after repeated examples in my life that have gone on to illustrate that i tend to crave for things that are out of reach.

It started the day i gave away my toys to my cousins. Toys that were till now lying in a cardboard box under my bed, toys that i had not bothered to think about for years.

And now that they were gone and nicely placed near my cousins bedside. I couldn’t help to envy the little girl and miss my sweet, adorable (?) toys. The sunny afternoons that i had spent playing with them in the grass, came flashing by and there was an ache in my heart (ghosh!) that could be filled up only by reclaiming these toys.

Whenever i visited their house, my eyes used to search for those inane toys and as soon as i found them i had that insane urge to pocket them and run as fast as my pudgy feet could carry me and then probably dump them back in the cardboard box, in which they rightfully belonged.

Same with men, after doing the dumping drama with my current flame, i craved for that nincompoop.

Why is it that we crave for inane objects that we know are seriously of no use to us after we do acquire them.

• Is it our gatherer instinct at work?
• Or is it greed at its best?
• Or is it just that things that were lost from our purview and now suddenly are in our line of sight that we start encountering the “good” feelings that we had with these, more and the rest of our logical thinking tends to shut off.

Or is it just the ” I want exactly what i can’t have ” theory at its best, with no serious logical explanations to it.

One of THE most interesting book stores that i have come across. It does not boast of the wooden floor (Full Circle in Khan Market), the Chai Bar (Oxford in Connaught Place), the easy in and out of the Bahari Sons (In khan Market) or comforts like air conditioning, benches, sofas, nice wall paintings or even the tinkling of a wind chime when you enter the shop.

This bookstore does not try to make you comfortable nor does it want to. Its just business here, name your book and if they have it - they tell you the price, or you keep moving and do not loiter around too much cause you might just get hit by a car.

Yes hit by a car . This book store my friend is on the corner of a street and its no uncommon street its a very common street with heavy traffic flow. You have to dodge traffic to figure while looking for your book. Dont get too enamored by the stock of books, dont get too in awe.

All this book store has is arrays and arrays of books stacked from the floor to the ceiling, with three people manning it.

Why i like this bookstore?

Its different! Its on the street! and all the books that i have asked for are available!! From fiction to non fiction to long forgotten books. I like the openness that this bookstore has. The all are invited feel. The absolutely crazy location it has.

Have a look your self and if you are in Delhi then drop by! Its right next to PVR Plaza, CP, Delhi.

 Few pictures below…..

Cars zoom by as you look at the pile of books. Cross the road and you can have a better look !!

 

 Indian man (touching himself) next to the book store. No i had no intentions of clicking that particualr pose, but this man just at that moment had to check if all was okay down there….

Ghosh Indian Men! … anyway thats another post !!

My sweet country as always doesn’t fail to baffle and amuse me. This time around also as i had earlier (in my “Two men on a scooter and a TV” post), i salute the enterprising spirit of the Indian people. Three cheers for the Indian people ! hip hip Jai Ganesh (3) ! wah kya bat hai !

So like the unsuspecting soul that i am, i was sitting in front of the TV and nonchalantly flipping channels by the second. Disgusted by the sheer waste of useless options available on TV. I mean there was absolutely nothing to watch. Zilch ! Nada … all crap !

So i come across this channel called India TV (should we take names ?? ) and they have this breaking news ! and its huge ! Oh my god !! the TV reporter is gushing about how this is the news of the moment and how its unbelievable ! This astounding discovery and blah blah blah

The great breaking news is that Ganesh ji the great Indian God (no offence intended to anyone here) is taking calls now. All you need to do is call up the almighty Lord Ganesha, obviously (!!) on his mobile phone and talk your prayers away.

Now you must be saying Oh come on !! that can’t be ! And questions like so i now need not really take a bath before visiting a temple cause i can be in bed and all i need to do is just call up Lord Ganeshji and say my prayers and be off to another snooze… would be racing through your minds

Also all the incompetent nincompoops, who were earlier dragged to the temple to say their prayers can now just call up and get the task done and over with. And ofcourse more …

So how does this absolutely revolutionary concept work?

The temple, that boasts of this cutting edge idea is in Indore (Madhya Pradesh, India) where you can avail of this prayer-call-in service where you can just call Lord Ganeshji and get talking ! The the pundit of the temple has about 5-6 mobile phones, that were ringing away constantly. As the devotees call, punditji takes the call and dutifully puts it on the ear of the idol of our almighty Lord Ganesha.

People then rattle off their prayers while our lord almighty listens and listens with that sombre expression that he is famous for. One lady called up and rattled away how her husband is having an affair and blah blah and Lord almighty should do something about it. Another one wanted a better job.

That is exactly when i switched off the TV and went back to my snoozing.

But i did take some pictures as proof !! hehahaha ha

Mind-boggling?

Its India babeyh!!!

I salute you oh great country !!!

Picked up these absolutely adorable pens from Khan Market for just Rs. 50!

I love em !!

      

Adorable Mouse                        A group hug!!

    

Mr Oink Oink                           Zebra Man!!

Its all about loving your pens

Had a talk with my sister in the loo, we both were fighting for a dekho in the mirror. It was obviously me who was dominating the space, with me in it like 80% and the poor little sweetie was pushed in the rest of the 20% and decreasing (!). I was overtaking the whole mirror (Hehahaha hehahaha)

So anyway she starts of with accusation number 1. That I have dominated her all of our childhood!
So here I am fighting for space and total annihilation of her space, sweet victory and conquer of the mirror that is rightfully mine (everything is) and she starts of with this rambling about how I have scared her for life!

And there is more - Accusation number 2. I have always eaten her chocolates
And there were some more mumbling and whining and blah blah

So here goes my defense - my side of the story!! – I am cleaning up the closet elder sister, lets see if you can handle it –

So lets look at accusation number 2, eat all her chocolates, the Swiss ones, the Indian made, the non chocolates (goodies basically)  – chatpat, daddy chips (hell I used to love em!), maggi and few other thousands of yummy eatables.

Ya I used to eat them, dear elder sister because I truly believed, such as ….
Damn I am stalling for time here, there has to be a good enough, convincing reason.

Well if you recall we used to have these - lets divide all the chocolates and then hide them; … as really you can not trust anyone in your own household, … I mean come on you are talking about chocolates here, who can you trust but yourself with these absolutely yummy, mouth watering chocolates (obviously it was one of my masterminds) (hehahaha hehahaha) (my evil laughter resounding in the background – if you still haven’t figured it out!!)

So my strategy was, a fairly simple one – eat your own share and find the rest
So I used to eat all my chocolates, yum yum, (ya that explains the 10 extra kilos that I have grown up with) and then keep an eye on my angel of a sister, who used to very sweetly and unsuspectingly keep her share of the chocolates in the fridge (!! Where else can you keep them in the Delhi heat), and try to conceal them behind the patta gobhi and lauki and some other green veggies

And me like the complete brat that I am, I used to go and get her chocolates, keep them close to my chest, walk in to the room where she is sitting reading a book (poor unsuspecting soul), and proclaim – Jo dhondta wo leta !!! (Finder keepers) hehahahaha hehahahaha evil laughter in the background mixed with a bit of glee (hehe)

And then used to follow this insanely crazed out wrestling match that you can ever imagine, with me pulling her hair, and she pulling my chaddi, and me puling her hair and she pulling my leg, arm, tummy, etc and then me pulling her chaddi etc etc
Which used to go on for as long as possible

And of course I used to start crying and cry and cry and cry and my little angelic, naïve sister used to walk away in disgust, while I (the true evil one), used to happily munch on the war goodies.

Ya so that is my defense elder sister - the honest truth!
I fought for them chocolates, they didn’t come easy to me, they were hard earned goodies, and I told you and eat them (just about 20% of the time), but I told you anyways and hey you walked away in disgust, come on its all your fault here, you gave up.

Also in my own way I was teaching you, the lessons of life, that you have to fight for your goodies, when you grow up … okay so maybe you didn’t get to eat the chocolates, but hey you came prepared in this bad, bad, bad, cruel world (all thanks to me)

It was these important lessons of life that you learnt, like - fight till the end, never give up, deal with the evil souls in the world, who will take undue advantage of your angelic naïve existent and other more prolific lessons.

Don’t accuse me sista! Thank me!

Chocolates will do. You’re welcome. Get milky bar if you can get that.

A picture can say a thousand things. This one i took early morning going to to my office. Ex office (sounds good).

I was sitting comfortably in my car, enjoying the early morning AC, looking at the other cars without AC and smirking away, at the unfortunate souls, who had to bare the searing Delhi heat. A typical snob mentality that i have been born with !(pathetic I KNOW!)

So anyway while i am enjoying the view, here comes this guy on a scooter with his very uncomfortable son, in the back seat. And you say why uncomfortable? Well for the simple reason there is a huge (!!!) TV seperating the two.

Now we are talking a scooter, a two wheeler, a vehicle for two, made for transporting two people and not for a full size TV!

It is capable of seating two people but that is about it. But as Indians we can really come up with multiple uses of things. So a two wheeler becomes not only a transport for two but also a great TV transport!!

Talk about going green !! You are not only saving the extra fuel that will add on to your carbon print, but you are also saving up on plastic by not using the packaging.

The developed countries really need to learn from this! This is going green really at its core. Forget the fancy - Dont use botteled water and dont use air travel often, use car pool, recycle your tea bags, printing paper, use Blackel and not Google and others.

I am in awe of this father son duo! They are at the forefront of Going Green Revolution and i salute their spirits!  

              

I am sure the only saving grace for the boy is all the cartoons that he can watch.

God bless INDIA!

PS - I hope the journey was short (by the look of the son, doesnt look like he is enjoying it)

              

I happened to visit the newly opned Unisex Saloon at Khan Market, Delhi on Friday, for a manicure and pedicure.

It was a clear early morning and i thought what the hell, lets get pampered and fussed over. I had gone in expecting those little pleasures that you get, when you eat that gooey chocolate cake, the kind of pleasure that makes you fly few inches above the ground, the kinds that make you jump up in the air and say Whoopee!

Well so anyway, i enter this swanky place, lined with mirrors, the reception area teaming with cute men at your service, some with really good hairdos. So like the snobbish bitch that i can be i waltzed in and announced that i needed my nails done to this woman who seems to be running the show.

I was ushered into a very neat place, very hip with wide windows overlooking the green trees outside, the inside decor theme was black and white, with chairs being black and everything white. There were white stones on the floor near the hair wash chair and i simply loved the inside of the place as well as the use of space.

So well two men walk up to me (unfortunately not the cute variety) and they are ready with their weapons. I am politely asked to take my bangles off and for some strange reason they refuse to budge, that was the least of my embarrassing situations.

Feeling like a very cosmopolitan woman, i had gladly walked into this saloon but what i had not thought about was that there will be two men fussing over my legs and arms and not just fussing over, touching, massaging, feeling it, kneading, slapping it (yes that happens!), rubbing it etc

And now that they were at it, i could not help but feel a tad bit self conscious. I realized unisex saloon is not my thing, i will be honest, i like the women doing the fussing, this close proximity to men rarely happens in my life.

Th manicure man had a pouch on his waist and he reminded me of one of those GI Joes figures the one with all muscle and all their weapons on their waist, all ready to fight the cuticle war.

A soft kneading of my hands, the harsh scrubbing, and pulling of skin started, the pedicure man on the other hand was ready with his own weapons of mass tickling. One after the other he whisked out these harmless looking things, but in reality the kinds that make you cringe, and tickle beyond belief!

There was no stopping the ticklish feeling in my feet and try as i much to cry out and burst out in giggles and tell my man here who was sitting by my feet to stop! For gods grace and leave my dead skin alone … i couldn’t… though my feet fingers were a total give away!!

Well after 45 minutes of being fussed around, i was itching for this to get over, it did finally! 60 minutes!! I paid an exuberant amount, said my gracious thank you’s and rushed out as fast as my newly manicured feet could carry me.

But surprise surprise !! I felt great !! I was smiling, energized, raring to go and all chirpy ! And the exuberant amount that i had just paid seemed worth it! Woohooo to the men who are paid to serve you.